Anxiety in a Snapshot

I’ve spent the last several months feeling like I’m making no progress at all, feeling stuck, overwhelmed, just beaten up and worn out! My (concrete) timeline with my anxiety spans over three years, but it is probably safe to assume that I’ve struggled with some form of anxiety my whole life. I’m just going to concentrate on the last three years for this little synopsis:

Year 0-2: Stressed out at work, crying very often, just moved in with my boyfriend, financial stress (because I was finally making good money for the first time in my life and didn’t know what to do with it), freaking out about being the youngest employee in my very large company, by multiple years. I knew something was wrong. Did the control freak thing and tried take care of me on my own.

Year 2-2.5: Symptoms getting worse and spanning across multiple topics and areas of my life. Finally recognizing that I need outside help.

Year 2.5-2.75: therapy, once every week during the summer and every other week during the busy months. Spent most of therapy crying, not making progress. Therapist suggests meds to help me (I know some of us hate this idea). I say no to meds.

Year 2.75- I crack under all the pressure. Crying almost every night, stressed out at every moment. Finally say yes to medicinal help. By the time I say yes, my world is upside down and the meds can’t kick in soon enough.

Year 2.75-3.0: Meds start kicking in, less crying occurs. Panic attacks still happening, taking Xanax as needed. Mind is less foggy, still stressed as hell. Spinning thoughts won’t stop. Meds helped to give me clarity and calmness, but stress and anxiety are still high. Kick up dosage of meds.

Year 3.0- Now: The higher dose of meds has helped, but I don’t think I owe the credit to the meds. Other key anxiety-solving strategies: regular therapy, blogging, making many new friends and having an active social life with my old friends, and self reflection. I think without all of these five components, I wouldn’t have finally started making progress.

I’m not anxiety free. I still have spinning thoughts from time to time. I still get sick to my stomach from the stress at work. I still freak out over little things. But I experience all of these symptoms WAY less often. When they do pop up, I’m not scared, because I have several tricks up my sleeve to help me. Now, I just need regular practice.

Thanks for reading. I hope having a somewhat shared experience helps you just as much as it helps me.